We asked our Women Surgeons to share with us their Holiday traditions and some of their favorite memories of the holidays.
Please enjoy these delightful stories from fellow AWS members -- and feel free to share your own in the Comments.
Happy Holidays from all of us on the Blog team and the AWS!
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Minerva Romero Arenas, MD, MPH
Resident
What holiday do you celebrate and what is the special meaning of this
holiday to you?
We celebrate Christmas Eve because in the Catholic faith it is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. My family traditionally gave us kids gifts on Día de Los Reyes Magos (The 3 Wise Men), which correlates to the gifts presented to Jesus. In addition to reflecting on the spiritual meaning of the Christmas holidays, I also like to take time to think about the previous and upcoming years and to remind my family and friends how special they are to me.
What are some family traditions you have related to this holiday?
Being Mexican in the US means my family celebrates both cultures. We still celebrate primarily on Christmas Eve, we pray and sing carols, and have a Posada. Dinner varies - traditionally turkey is on the menu for this day- but we change it up according to what everyone wants to eat. One of my favorite memories was when my grandmother showed my cousins and I how to make tamales. Other years we have enjoyed catered Chinese or Indian food. After having lived in the US many years we adopted the tradition of exchanging presents on Christmas morning. On January 6th, we try to continue the tradition of eating King's cake.
Do you have a good memory of patient care during a time you worked during
the holiday?
I've had several years in residency that I could not travel back home for the holidays. I am thankful for technology like FaceTime, which enabled me to share some special moments with my family while away. Nonetheless, during the holidays the patients who are in the hospital are usually very sick & grateful to have us around helping keep an eye on them in their recovery from surgery or trauma injuries. I have to admit that some of my favorite memories are sharing food with nursing, our mid-level providers, attendings & OR staff. In particular, I am thankful for having co-workers and mentors who have invited me to join them for dinner.
Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Nobody Comes to Work to Do a Bad Job…
by Mary Brandt, MD
“She’s really impossible… one of the grumpiest people I’ve ever met. We’ve had nurses come back from escorting patients to her almost in tears… if I worked with her, I’d be reporting her on a daily basis.”
I really, truly believe that there’s not a single person who gets up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says “How can I go to work to do a bad job today?” So what happens? Like the doctor described above, what happens to people that puts them in such a negative frame of mind? There are probably a few real jerks out there – maybe even some with real problems (like a borderline personality disorder). There is literature on disruptive physicians and some of this I’ll address in other posts (substance abuse, depression, compassion fatigue). For now, just consider the idea that most people who misbehave at work have something else going on.
It’s a lot easier to put up with negativity (and even downright rudeness) when you are rested. When you are exhausted, it’s just a lot harder. I think the key is recognizing that being tired makes you vulnerable to act in ways that aren’t “normal” for you…. and then consciously thinking about how to handle it. Here’s a few things to think about as you are taking a deep breath (or two or three..)
1. Don’t fall to their level. Whatever you do – look cool.
2. Don’t respond at all if tempers are hot. Let silence have a minute to work.
3. Try to consciously find a sense of compassion for them. What if their spouse just left them? What if they just got called on the carpet by their program director or chairman? It’s not an excuse – because really bad behavior is never the right answer – but maybe there are some extenuating circumstances.
4. Be personal… in a good way. Watch for an opportunity to discuss last nights football/baseball/basketball/hockey game, or the latest election, or anything that is not related to work. Learn people’s names, ask where they are from, etc. Humor is an important tool, if the opportunity arises and the other person is receptive. Anything you can do to befriend the other person will help – If you are able to develop relationships it’s harder for meltdowns to occur.
5. If it gets out of control you can always – politely and sincerely – walk away with “I’m so sorry you are having a tough day. I hope it gets better for you.”
This post originally appeared May 9, 2010 on Dr. Brandt's website Wellness Rounds
Mary L. Brandt, M.D. is a professor of Surgery, Pediatrics, and
Medical Ethics at Baylor College of Medicine and a practicing pediatric
surgeon at Texas Children’s Hospital. She is involved in education on a
day-to-day basis in her clinical work. She also thinks about medical
education on a bigger scale through her work as Vice Chair of Education
of the Michael E. DeBakey Department of Surgery and Associate Dean of
Student Affairs at Baylor College of Medicine. She actively blogs and tweets.
“She’s really impossible… one of the grumpiest people I’ve ever met. We’ve had nurses come back from escorting patients to her almost in tears… if I worked with her, I’d be reporting her on a daily basis.”
I really, truly believe that there’s not a single person who gets up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says “How can I go to work to do a bad job today?” So what happens? Like the doctor described above, what happens to people that puts them in such a negative frame of mind? There are probably a few real jerks out there – maybe even some with real problems (like a borderline personality disorder). There is literature on disruptive physicians and some of this I’ll address in other posts (substance abuse, depression, compassion fatigue). For now, just consider the idea that most people who misbehave at work have something else going on.
It’s a lot easier to put up with negativity (and even downright rudeness) when you are rested. When you are exhausted, it’s just a lot harder. I think the key is recognizing that being tired makes you vulnerable to act in ways that aren’t “normal” for you…. and then consciously thinking about how to handle it. Here’s a few things to think about as you are taking a deep breath (or two or three..)
1. Don’t fall to their level. Whatever you do – look cool.
2. Don’t respond at all if tempers are hot. Let silence have a minute to work.
3. Try to consciously find a sense of compassion for them. What if their spouse just left them? What if they just got called on the carpet by their program director or chairman? It’s not an excuse – because really bad behavior is never the right answer – but maybe there are some extenuating circumstances.
4. Be personal… in a good way. Watch for an opportunity to discuss last nights football/baseball/basketball/hockey game, or the latest election, or anything that is not related to work. Learn people’s names, ask where they are from, etc. Humor is an important tool, if the opportunity arises and the other person is receptive. Anything you can do to befriend the other person will help – If you are able to develop relationships it’s harder for meltdowns to occur.
5. If it gets out of control you can always – politely and sincerely – walk away with “I’m so sorry you are having a tough day. I hope it gets better for you.”
This post originally appeared May 9, 2010 on Dr. Brandt's website Wellness Rounds
~~~
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Compassion: Lessons from Roshi Joan Halifax
by Mary Brandt, MD
It’s not often that a talk completely changes the way I think about something.
I’ve been thinking and speaking about compassion fatigue for many years. I recently had the privilege of hearing a wonderful talk by Roshi Joan Halifax. She made a strong and convincing case that “compassion fatigue” is a misnomer… and that we should think about this in a very different way.
We can never have too much compassion nor can true compassion result in fatigue.
Photo credit
Empathy and compassion are not the same thing.
Empathy is a necessary prerequisite for compassion, but compassion goes beyond empathy. Empathy is the ability to be with someone who is suffering, to be able to feel what they are feeling. Compassion, on the other hand, is being for someone who is suffering, being moved to act and find a way to relieve their suffering.
Link to Roshi Joan Halifax TED talk “Compassion and the true meaning of empathy”
Self-regulation is the key to being able to remain compassionate and this skill can be taught.
We all respond to situations of suffering with “arousal”, a state that varies in intensity depending on the severity of the suffering, and our own memories and experiences. How you respond to this state determines whether you can stay present, effective and compassionate. Roshi Joan Halifax offered the mnemonic “GRACE” as a way to teach this skill to medical students, residents, physicians, nurses and other health care professionals.
G: Gather your attention. Take three deep breaths. Be present.
R: Recall your intention. We choose careers in medicine to help heal the sick and to reduce suffering. It’s not easy to remember this intention when we are overwhelmed. But, in the moment we are faced with a human being who is suffering, we must let our own response (and the demands of the day) go and remember why we are here.
A: Attend to yourself. Being able to detect what is going on in your own body is the same “wiring” you use when you feel empathy. After gathering your attention and recalling your intention, pay attention to what is going on in your body. Watch your breath, feel where there is tension, pay attention to sensations.
C: Consider what will really serve. Moving from empathy to compassion is defined by considering the actions that will relieve suffering. Really consider the person and the situation and decide what is most likely to improve the situation.
E: Engage ethically.
“Developing our capacity for compassion makes it possible for us to help others in a more skillful and effective way. And compassion helps us as well.” Joan Halifax
Photo credit
This post originally appeared January 13, 2014 on Dr. Brandt's website Wellness Rounds
Mary L. Brandt, M.D. is a professor of Surgery, Pediatrics, and
Medical Ethics at Baylor College of Medicine and a practicing pediatric
surgeon at Texas Children’s Hospital. She is involved in education on a
day-to-day basis in her clinical work. She also thinks about medical
education on a bigger scale through her work as Vice Chair of Education
of the Michael E. DeBakey Department of Surgery and Associate Dean of
Student Affairs at Baylor College of Medicine. She actively blogs and tweets.
It’s not often that a talk completely changes the way I think about something.
I’ve been thinking and speaking about compassion fatigue for many years. I recently had the privilege of hearing a wonderful talk by Roshi Joan Halifax. She made a strong and convincing case that “compassion fatigue” is a misnomer… and that we should think about this in a very different way.
We can never have too much compassion nor can true compassion result in fatigue.
Photo credit
Empathy and compassion are not the same thing.
Empathy is a necessary prerequisite for compassion, but compassion goes beyond empathy. Empathy is the ability to be with someone who is suffering, to be able to feel what they are feeling. Compassion, on the other hand, is being for someone who is suffering, being moved to act and find a way to relieve their suffering.
Link to Roshi Joan Halifax TED talk “Compassion and the true meaning of empathy”
Self-regulation is the key to being able to remain compassionate and this skill can be taught.
We all respond to situations of suffering with “arousal”, a state that varies in intensity depending on the severity of the suffering, and our own memories and experiences. How you respond to this state determines whether you can stay present, effective and compassionate. Roshi Joan Halifax offered the mnemonic “GRACE” as a way to teach this skill to medical students, residents, physicians, nurses and other health care professionals.
G: Gather your attention. Take three deep breaths. Be present.
R: Recall your intention. We choose careers in medicine to help heal the sick and to reduce suffering. It’s not easy to remember this intention when we are overwhelmed. But, in the moment we are faced with a human being who is suffering, we must let our own response (and the demands of the day) go and remember why we are here.
A: Attend to yourself. Being able to detect what is going on in your own body is the same “wiring” you use when you feel empathy. After gathering your attention and recalling your intention, pay attention to what is going on in your body. Watch your breath, feel where there is tension, pay attention to sensations.
C: Consider what will really serve. Moving from empathy to compassion is defined by considering the actions that will relieve suffering. Really consider the person and the situation and decide what is most likely to improve the situation.
E: Engage ethically.
“Developing our capacity for compassion makes it possible for us to help others in a more skillful and effective way. And compassion helps us as well.” Joan Halifax
Photo credit
This post originally appeared January 13, 2014 on Dr. Brandt's website Wellness Rounds
~~~
Mary L. Brandt, M.D. is a professor of Surgery, Pediatrics, and
Medical Ethics at Baylor College of Medicine and a practicing pediatric
surgeon at Texas Children’s Hospital. She is involved in education on a
day-to-day basis in her clinical work. She also thinks about medical
education on a bigger scale through her work as Vice Chair of Education
of the Michael E. DeBakey Department of Surgery and Associate Dean of
Student Affairs at Baylor College of Medicine. She actively blogs and tweets.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
A bit of kindness
by Amalia Cochran, MD
The following is an excerpt from an email I recently received from a mentee:
“I love, love, love surgery, but even as someone who has thrived in this environment, I now acknowledge that there are some aspects of the culture of surgery/academics/surgical and medical education that I am deeply unsettled by and wish very much to change. I see fellow students, residents, fellows, young faculty transform from being full of zeal and goodwill into angry, bitter, jaded people, and it’s absolutely disheartening to see. What’s more infuriating (to me because of the wrongness of it all and because I’m such a fixer) is that those who have been negatively affected and are the very ones capable of enacting positive change because they’ve “been there” sadly become the very ones who perpetuate the indignities of the broken culture, and they don’t even recognize that they’re doing so.”
Her important question that she asked me, and one that I found incredibly wise, was, “Did you ever struggle with this during your training or see this among your colleagues? Or even now?”
I asked her if I could answer this on the blog, and she graciously said yes. It was important for me to do so because I feel obliged to make some confessions related to her concerns.
The biggest one? I had many days during my residency when I was so tired, so broken, so frustrated that I wasn’t a nice person. While I was able to focus on doing the right thing for my patients, I could be and often was impatient with students who needed nurturing and staff who were still learning too. I was so Hell-bent on my own survival, on not making mistakes, on not showing any shred of evidence that I might not be able to succeed as a surgeon that I had no qualms about running over people. I nearly quit surgical residency during my PGY2 year because I didn’t like what I was my self becoming (then was nurtured by some VERY kind mentors who managed to help me hang in there).
I attribute a significant portion of my behaviors when they weren’t outstanding to sleep deprivation and not having a functional set of skills for coping with my chronic exhaustion. I also attribute some of my less-than-ideal behaviors to the surgical culture in which we were supposed to prove that we’re tough and don’t have flaws. Reality check: I may be resilient- I far prefer that word to “tough”- but I do have flaws. Sometime around my 40th birthday, I became okay with that.
If nothing else I wrote tonight resonates with you, it’s my hope that a picture of an incredibly happy husky will help you pause and be a bit kinder.
This post originally appeared March 24, 2014 on Dr. Cochran's website Life in the Wild West
Dr. Amalia Cochran is Associate Professor of Surgery at the University
of Utah. She is heavily involved in undergraduate medical education,
serving as the Surgery Clerkship Director and the
Director for the Applied Anatomy track for 4th year medical students at
the University of Utah. Her research interests lie in surgical
education and in clinical outcomes in burns. She is completing her term
as Vice President for the Association of Women Surgeons.
The following is an excerpt from an email I recently received from a mentee:
“I love, love, love surgery, but even as someone who has thrived in this environment, I now acknowledge that there are some aspects of the culture of surgery/academics/surgical and medical education that I am deeply unsettled by and wish very much to change. I see fellow students, residents, fellows, young faculty transform from being full of zeal and goodwill into angry, bitter, jaded people, and it’s absolutely disheartening to see. What’s more infuriating (to me because of the wrongness of it all and because I’m such a fixer) is that those who have been negatively affected and are the very ones capable of enacting positive change because they’ve “been there” sadly become the very ones who perpetuate the indignities of the broken culture, and they don’t even recognize that they’re doing so.”
Her important question that she asked me, and one that I found incredibly wise, was, “Did you ever struggle with this during your training or see this among your colleagues? Or even now?”
I asked her if I could answer this on the blog, and she graciously said yes. It was important for me to do so because I feel obliged to make some confessions related to her concerns.
The biggest one? I had many days during my residency when I was so tired, so broken, so frustrated that I wasn’t a nice person. While I was able to focus on doing the right thing for my patients, I could be and often was impatient with students who needed nurturing and staff who were still learning too. I was so Hell-bent on my own survival, on not making mistakes, on not showing any shred of evidence that I might not be able to succeed as a surgeon that I had no qualms about running over people. I nearly quit surgical residency during my PGY2 year because I didn’t like what I was my self becoming (then was nurtured by some VERY kind mentors who managed to help me hang in there).
I attribute a significant portion of my behaviors when they weren’t outstanding to sleep deprivation and not having a functional set of skills for coping with my chronic exhaustion. I also attribute some of my less-than-ideal behaviors to the surgical culture in which we were supposed to prove that we’re tough and don’t have flaws. Reality check: I may be resilient- I far prefer that word to “tough”- but I do have flaws. Sometime around my 40th birthday, I became okay with that.
- I want to believe I was asked about this topic because I’m seen as someone who is generally patient and supportive. A few key lessons have helped me get back to this place, one in which I think I existed prior to my 7 years of complete exhaustion and chronic stress.
- We’re all struggling. Every one of us is, in one way or another. That’s not a source of shame, it’s a source of humanity.
- If those moments in which your lesser self shows up are rare, people believe you when you apologize for your behavior.
- We are all learning, ever hour of every day. That’s what we’re here to do in a teaching environment.
- As someone in a position of leadership, my team and those around my team rely on me to set a tone. I don’t want that tone to be one of nastiness, blaming, and negativity because I want/ need a high-achieving team. Therefore, it’s up to me to be supportive, to be patient, to take a deep breath before reacting, even when my gut wants to say, “WHAT were you thinking?!?”
- When people are intimidated, their ability to think critically is impaired. Working in an ICU, I need everyone around me to be a critical thinker. Kindness does much more towards that end than bullying.
- If all else fails, go for a walk with the dog. Dogs are masters of this moment being the very best moment ever and that influence is contagious- particularly on a snowy day if one has a Siberian Husky in their life (as I do).
If nothing else I wrote tonight resonates with you, it’s my hope that a picture of an incredibly happy husky will help you pause and be a bit kinder.
This post originally appeared March 24, 2014 on Dr. Cochran's website Life in the Wild West
~~~
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